Mrs. Independent

Little known fact, I am, and I quote "fiercely independent." 

It's a joke around the house I tell Chad, "I do what I want!" Which most times is true. The only time I don't do what I want is when something is not in the best interest of our family (Chad, Hobbes and I). 

A few weeks ago Chad said something to me that had a profound effect on me and ate away at my soul.

"Hailey, you are fiercely independent, but that's not why you're here. You're here to be in a family."

Those words pierced me in a way that I will never forget them. Not in a negative way, just a way that will make me think about my real purpose and what my biggest priority should be ...

Grace of God

Ever since we moved to Richmond I have been dying to go to the temple. Unfortunately all of the elements have been combining against my wishes ...

• The closest temple is 2 hours and 15 minutes away
• Chad has class all week while I have classes all weekend
• Add up the time it takes to drive to the temple, do a session, drive back it totals about 10 hours per temple trip.
•  D.C. traffic.

Even with all of that I have been dead set on making it to the temple this month. You know what? By the grace of God Chad got out of class at 11 a.m. yesterday and we made it our goal to go to the temple. I have been praying since Sunday (when we planned on going) for it to be a great experience.

Lately I've been stressed and worked up about things that really have no eternal significance. I knew that if we went to the temple I would feel that peace I so desperately needed. 

All I can say is "wow." When we drove up and I saw Moroni on top of the spires, my heart stopped. When we got closer and I saw the entire temple I felt overwhelmed with joy. There was no other place in the entire world I would have rather been at. 

Inside was beautiful and stunning. It is easily one of the most beautiful temples I have ever been through. The entire time I was there I felt absolutely at peace. I felt a calmness and assurance that can only come from God. Sitting there with Chad, glimpsing into eternity with him was perfect.

I cannot describe how happy, joyful, ecstatic I am knowing that I have the gospel in my life, and an absolute assurance that Chad and I will be together FOREVVVVVER. How many people can say that? Needless to say, it was a fantastic trip. Well worth the 10 hours. I cannot wait until we go again when Harry gets home.

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ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY!

Happy One Year Anniversary to my incredible husband Chad. This year has truly been the best year of my life, I cannot image life without Chad. There is no way for me to put into words how much I love him, it wouldn't even begin to convey my adoration for him. 

I love you Chad, more than life itself. I am extremely happy we have been married for one year. One year down, eternity to go.

Video I made of some of our memories from the first year of marriage. Enjoy.

1 Year Anniversary from Hailey Spencer on Vimeo.

Just love

Chad & my one year anniversary is less than one week away. I can't believe it's been one year and at the same time I feel like we've been together forever.

Chad & I were laying in bed talking and he said, "I never thought I would feel so close to someone. We've only been married a year but I feel like I've known you for so much longer. I feel so close to you, you're my best friend." 

My heart melted.

Chad is great at being affectionate and expressing his love towards me. I on the other hand, have a harder time expressing my feelings. But in the almost 365 days of being married I have learned something that makes the biggest difference for me ... 

Just love.

In the middle stages of being married I found myself letting the differences of Chad and I get in the way of my loving him. I would look at our music, cold cereal, bed time differences and think, "we're just too different ..." then those thoughts would turn into feelings. Those feelings then got in the way of my love for him. 

After one particularly stressful week I came to a hard realization. All week I was pushing Chad away from me. Fighting against his love and not accepting the love he was trying to give to me. The entire week he just wanted to love me. Why was I letting our differences get in the way of my infinite love for Chad?

That night I made a goal for myself. No matter what happened I wouldn't let anything get in the way of my love for Chad, I was going to just love him. That has made a huge impact. Rather than pushing him away I bring him in closer. Rather than allowing our differences to be a problem, they now compliment each other. Rather than not actively waking up everyday and choosing to love Chad, I now actively love him.

Love is a choice, and from that choice comes the feeling. In my short amount of time of being married I have learned to just love Chad, and be active in my love towards him.

Thank you Chad for being the best example of choosing love every single day.