To be completely honest

I'm a blogging slacker. I blame some of it on grad school which is giving me gray hair and sucking all the light out of my life. Thank goodness for this wonderful spring break week.

Chad and I went on a hot date to his cadaver lab Saturday night after class. Honestly, it was pretty awesome. I thought I would be grossed out, but as Chad kept telling me, "these are not people anymore." I kept that mantra on repeat as he showed me all of the parts he has dissected and guys ... I got to hold a real human heart in my hand. I'm in communications, that was truly, and honestly a once in a lifetime opportunity for me. It was thought-provoking and surreal, I honestly loved it. 

Then that handsome man of mine went all out and made Brazilian food for Sunday dinner. My heart was swooning. Feijoada, couve cozida, Guaraná and Mousse de maracujá. You guys ... this took me right back to Brazil and all the people I love who live there. Chad and I are really going to try our darndest to get back there after his Step 1 next March. 

Lastly, I would like to issue a public apology to my amazing, incredibly extraordinary husband. The last 4 weeks of grad school truly got the better of me. I apologize for being angry and cold. I apologize for not giving you the recognition you deserve for cleaning the house, doing the laundry, taking care of Hobbes and simply loving me when I know it was hard. You are my dream man and so much more than I deserve, I am the luckiest lady on this earth.

Only 60 days until I walk. 

A word to med school spouses ...

 

First view this ... because it is accurate 95% of the time. 

It is a well known fact that med school is no walk in the park, and the naivety of those who say it's 
"the good life" 
will drive med students and spouses mad. 

The typical med student day looks like this: 
wake at 6 am
school 8 am - 5 pm
study 5 pm - 2 am
repeat

Granted there are days when this is less or more depending on exam schedules. Recently, I have overheard med student spouses talking to first year spouses or future med school spouses about how Hellish the experience is. 

This makes me so mad. 

It might be that Chad does an excellent job of giving me the attention I need, but I think in reality being married to a med student simply is not that hard. I hate when spouses say, "I feel like a single mom," or "I haven't spoken to my husband in months," or "you will never EVER see your spouse." 

Just stop.

If I have learned anything it is that med school is what you make of it. If you want to do your spouse a "favor" by not talking to them for months so they can study, that is your choice. For Chad & I we choose to carve out time to talk with one another. We even cuddle, eat ice cream, and *gasp* watch How I Met Your Mother episodes.


Yes, there are times when it is harder to see each other, * boards anyone ? * *rotations ? *
Maybe I'm only a first year spouse, and things get harder ...
but my sweeping declaration for all future med student spouses out there, "Med school is an amazing, wonderful experience. You make it what you want, and you can in fact spend time with your spouse!"

I want to hear from YOU! Have a med student spouse? How do you find time to be with each other? How does having kids change the med school experience? (<--- really want to know about this one)

Mrs. Independent

Little known fact, I am, and I quote "fiercely independent." 

It's a joke around the house I tell Chad, "I do what I want!" Which most times is true. The only time I don't do what I want is when something is not in the best interest of our family (Chad, Hobbes and I). 

A few weeks ago Chad said something to me that had a profound effect on me and ate away at my soul.

"Hailey, you are fiercely independent, but that's not why you're here. You're here to be in a family."

Those words pierced me in a way that I will never forget them. Not in a negative way, just a way that will make me think about my real purpose and what my biggest priority should be ...

Slacking

Many things have been happening in the Spencer household. These past two months have been extremely taxing emotionally and physically for Chad and I. I apologize for the lack of blogage and hope I can be forgiven.

Catch up: I am finished with my finals which means I have one semester left until I have my Master's degree! Chad has his last final this Thursday and then he will start his M2 academia. 

Also ....

We have an addition to our little family ... it's a BOY ... and he's four months along. 


Meet Hobbes. 

We love him more than we thought possible. He is the most playful, adventurous, sweet, loving kitty. We are extremely happy to have him in our lives. Our little family is perfect.

Male and Female differences

Before I dive into this post please know that I will no longer be posting on Facebook each time I have a new post. If you'd like to be informed when the blog is updated all you have to do is become a follower. 

And now ...

I've noticed that there are a lot of differences between men and women in the way we think. Something that we as wives would think to be completely logic can sometimes come off as insane to our loving hubbys.

But I think we should embrace these differences, and learn to love the adventure in them.

Here is an illustrated example for you of the differences between Chad and I. I love that hubby of mine.

This is his side of the bed. Complete with shotgun shells just in case a bad guy breaks in and he needs to pull out the big gun.

This is my side of the bed. A little more detailed and girly.

Even with our differences we love love each other. In fact, I think that our differences are some things that we love about each other.

6 Months of Marital Bliss

Today it has been six months since Chad & I tied the knot. All I can say is that it truly has been marital bliss. I hear lots of stories about how "the first year is soooooooooo hard!" And, "oh man it's such an adjustment," and "it's extremely difficult and you're going to have to compromise everything." I'm not saying that my marriage is perfect by any means, but I haven't found it hard to be married. Chad and I talk whenever there's an issue or we want something. We play together and work together. I am happy to say that these past six months have really been a blast. I'm so happy to be married to such a wonderful man.

To celebrate, last night we went the renowned Black Sheep Cafe. I got the Navajao Taco Trio, Chad got the goat cheese burger. It was delicious. Then Chad surprised me by taking me to this sketchy taco stand next to our house where we got ... deep fried Oreos! They're not as good as the ones he makes, but they were yummy and a great tradition for us.

Happy six months Chad. I love you.

My heart goes patter patter patter

Married people please chime in.

I've been thinking a lot about when I was single, and how everyday (seriously) I would dream of the day that I was married! It seemed so unreal, and almost intangible that someday I would be married. Now that I am, in fact a Mrs. I can't even remember what it feels like to be not married.

I love being married. It feels so, natural.

Sometimes at night I'll have nightmares where I'm not married, and dating random guys and there's drama and craziness. Then I wake up, heart racing and see Chad sleeping there. Everysingletime I see him my heart goes back to normal with a sigh of relief.

What would I do without my man?

When I think about Chad and him meeting new people, my heart gets all excited because he's the most handsomely amazing man and I love showing him off. And I think if you're going to marry someone, you should feel that way.

Yay for being eternally exclusive.

The best day of my life

This month marks 6 months from the day that Chad & I fully committed our lives to one another.

While I was looking through our guest book, wedding cards and photos, I kept thinking, "that was the best day ever!" Our sealing, our rings, our friends and family, our love, our luncheon, our reception, our drive to the hotel, everything was absolutely perfect. It's hard to think of anything else that will ever compare to that day. It's a cliche, but my wedding day to Chad really, truly was the best day of my life.

Opening up in marriage

Sometimes being married is hard. Not hard because marriage is a terribly difficult thing, but hard because you have to invest every ounce of yourself in it. Sometimes you have to open up and say things you really don't want to say to your spouse. Out of fear that you might hurt their feelings, fear that you'll expose a side of yourself they've never seen before, fear that by opening up you become really vulnerable to them. I hope that no one is in a marital situation where they would feel judged, because marriage is about two completely imperfect people coming together to make one thing amazing.

Sometimes it's easier to just sit back and think, "well, I can handle all my problems on my own and I don't need anyone's stinking help!" That's me, right there. I think I can just take on battling evil, keeping the house clean, work 40 hours a week, hit the gym, deal with family & friends, moving, cooking and trying to look nice for my spouse; all on my own. But I can't, and even though sometimes I try really, really hard to work out my issues on my own, I know it's always better when I tell my hubby what's going on. Because he can - no - he wants to help me get through my issues.

Today at church I was playing a game on my phone *gasps* and my hubby was trying to help me win it. Even then I thought, "I can win this stupid game on my own ..." I didn't.

I think, for me at least, it's really hard to see how much I need my spouse's help with everything. Sometimes it's hard, and sometimes I have to completely humble myself to dirt before I can work up the courage to say to him, "I need help ..." but when I do he's always there with a hug and non-judmental heart.

It's just another flaw I'm working on, but with time I'll get it right. Good thing I've got this handsome guy to help me with it. (Yeah look at those biceps!)



Any ideas, stories or suggestions on opening up to your SO?

Date Idea!

A few weeks ago I was feeling like Mr. Spencer was doing a lot for me, but I wasn't really giving anything in return. I decided to create a date that was focused 100% on him. It was super easy and cheap to put on, but we had a really great time. Here's the date.

• Think of some things your SO enjoys. For me I came up with seven things that interest Mr. Spencer.

• Write a sweet note explaining the date and what will take place.

• Plan an activity that corresponds with each interest you thought of.

This is what I did for Mr. Spencer:

1- Drinks, mixology:
Chad's always making great new non-alcoholic drinks. I decided to take him to Spark where we could try some of their amazing creations. We ordered habanero lime lemonade, simply citrus, passion fruit and desert pear lemonade. We also ordered herb fries as an appetizer.

2- Cooking:
Chad LOVES to cook but I saved this part for later in the date. After Spark we came home and ate dinner that I cooked for him. But knowing that he wanted in on the action I planned to let him cook deep fried Oreos for me. I'm glad I did because they were delish!

3- Music, piano:
Chad's an amazing pianist, and I can pound out chopsticks. For this part of the date we sat down and played a few SUPER EASY songs together. Then I picked out some songs I wanted him to play for me. It was great to see his enthusiasm for the piano, and just listen to him play.

4- Skiing:
This one was fun. We both put on a few pieces of our snow gear and sat down on the couch. There I pulled up some AMAZING freestyle skiing videos that were really fun to watch. You can one of them here.

5- Shooting:
It was too dark (and cold) to actually go out shooting. But that's nothing that a Wii shooting game can't fix.

6- Relaxation:
I let Chad get comfy and I put on some Enya and dimmed the lights. Then I gave him a nice long massage to loosen up all those tense skiing muscles

7- Your favorite:
This is NOT what you're thinking. It was his favorite movie, A Beautiful Mind.

It was overall a really fun date to plan and even more fun to do. Easy, cheap and fun! Plus your SO will think you're the best person in the entire world for thinking of them.

 

Her side of the story ...

It’s a love story – her side

I had come home from my mission totally ready to wed. I started going on lots of dates, think MILLIONS. With every type of guy God created. Some were fun, some were weird, some were boring, but none were “right.” My mom was prepping for her fall classes and I had the brilliant idea to look at her picture class roll to scope out some hotties. Nothing from her second class, her first class however was promising. I picked out one guy who was from California, brown hair, seemed legit. Then there was another guy, from Colorado, black hair and a gorgeous smile, seemed too good to be true. I tried to Facebook stalk him, which turned up nothing. First thought, “he must be married with kids!”

I decided to “drop by” my mom’s class on the first day and introduce myself. It was such a blur that I don’t remember seeing that stud from Colorado, but I did go talk to my friend Amanda F. about her up-coming wedding, told the class I was single and walked out.

I continued dating other guys.

A few weeks later I got an assignment from one of my classes to interview pre-med, bio students. Knowing that my mom pretty much only taught those kids I went to her class with a sign-up sheet. I explained the situation and asked for everyone to sign it. Done. Then I contacted the said individuals on the sign-up sheet. Enter the stud from Colorado.

I was getting tired and pushed for time so I emailed that stud to ask if he just wanted to do the interview online. He said that he preferred to do it in person, at 7:30 am!!! Ugh, that’s early. Everything inside of me wanted to ditch that interview but there was a little voice that told me to go and do it.

We met at Jamba Juice and I offered to buy him a Jamba in exchange for his time. I remembered thinking he was pretty dang cute. He also refused my Jamba offer saying, “I have a bagel.” Which he never did eat. I interviewed him and a few things stood out to me. “I won’t perform a legit surgery on my own until I’m 36.” “Saying I’m going to be a doctor is nice with the ladies.” We finished the interview and he was a gem and offered to walk me outside. He stood up and we talked and walked outside. We were in front of the Crab Tree where I worked at the time and I said thank you again and he told me he had to go finish a paper for my mom’s class. We went our separate ways and I kept thinking, “he is a stud.”

Sent him a follow-up text. He texted me back.
We texted back and forth for about a month and a half before our first date.

He texted me while I was sitting in sacrament meeting. “This is last minute but I was thinking of driving the alpine loop today, want to go?” I thought he would never ask! I was soooo ecstatic that it must have been the longest 3 hours of my entire life. I came home and got ready and literally waited, heart pounding for 45 minutes.

When he came and picked me up my first thoughts were: 1) OhMyGosh he is SUPER handsome. 2) What a cool car! 3) I can’t believe this is happening, finally.

The Alpine Loop was great, but being with him was better. He was funny, classy, open and intelligent. I wanted the loop to last all day. When he asked me out for a second date while dropping me off I couldn’t hold back how happy I was and I’m sure I had a ridiculous smile on my face.

Yes, yes, yes!

Date 2, 3, 4, 5 …

Text to my mom, “he is the BEST unofficial boyfriend EVER!”

One night in particular he asked if he could call me his “girlfriend” I have never been so happy in my entire life. We sat there in silence, cuddling. It felt so good and so right. I felt like I belonged with him and that we fit together so perfectly. Beside the fact that he was so incredibly handsome, I wanted to be with him all the time. He was all I could think about, all I could talk about, and all I wanted.

10 months later I became his wifey, forever.
And I couldn’t be happier.

Little things

Last night I was thinking about what grand, romantic gesture I was going to do for Chad this Valentine's Day. It got me thinking that while grand, romantic gestures are nice, it's the little daily things that really make a difference in our relationship. Chad's really good at doing little things to show he loves me.

He warms up my side of the bed before we go to sleep

He makes sure not to park in in the snow where I get out of the car

He shovels the snow by our curb so I can park easier

He kisses me when he wakes up during the night

He convinces me to take a ski day even if it means he has to stay at work until 1 a.m.

He listens when I tell him about my day

He drives to my parents to let their dog out while they're gone

He takes extra chocolate covered cinnamon bears from wedding receptions just so he can give them to me later

He holds me tight when we walk on the ice so I don't slip and fall

These little things really make all the difference. What are some little things your significant other does for you?

2012 Recap

2012 was a goooooooood year!

Here are just a few reasons why.

Hailey graduated.

Harry hit his one year mark!



Many fun vacations with family and friends.





Chad ate sushi for the first time.



The ages for missionaries changed to 18 (elders) and 19 (sisters).



Kailee had her first baby.

We got engaged.



Then married.



Then honeymooned.



Chad got accepted to med school.



Now we're starting 2013, together.

I can't wait to see what 2013 has for us!!!

ACCEPTED

As I'm sure most of you heard, there is big news in the Spencer household.

Chad got accepted to medical school at Virginia Commonwealth University!

We are so so so ecstatic and even more grateful. We want to thank everyone for all the fasting and prayers offered on our behalf. This will be an amazing experience and we're excited to start our new adventure sometime this summer.

Virginia will be beautiful and extremely lucky to have Dr. Spencer there.

We'll keep you updated as we prepare for this next phase in our lives.

The Pianist

Before I dive into this blog, I wanted to give you guys a quick update.

I, Hailey Spencer ... am excited and nervous to announce to everyone that I am .... a BYU graduate! *cue chorus of angels*
But seriously, it has been one of my life goals to graduate from BYU and now I can say I've done it. While it feels bittersweet I'm excited for the new opportunities that are sure to come.

Also, this weekend Chad's aunt Jeanette hosted a nieces and nephews dinner, which she does yearly. It was awesome.




And my dog's adorable.


And my second brother is home from France. Yay.
And there is snow falling on our blog.



Now on to The Pianist.

My sweet, adorable husband is a piano teacher. He  currently has six students, and last night they had a Christmas recital. Well, the kids were uber cute and they all adored Chad. I loved watching the dynamics between Chad and his students. As each one was playing he looked like a proud father. It made me very happy to see Chad like this. It drove my mind to how he'll be when we have kids, and what kind of dad he'll be. He'll be amazing.



Chad even got to perform. Fantastic, even though he said it wasn't very good ... DISCLAIMER - the piano is really out of tune and the keys are weighted weirdly. (That probably makes sense to 2% of you, no I don't know what that means either.)

Video:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFDrYRBxY90?rel=0&w=420&h=315]

Putting on my big girl pants

In the next few weeks life will be winding down so to speak. My internship will be ending, I’ll go from two part time jobs to one full time job. I’ll be a BYU, college graduate.

At this time I want to pass on some words of wisdom on how to balance all the challenges of daily life, be a good wife, daughter, sister, intern, employee, friend and co-worker all while maintaining your sanity.

Good wife: This is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Today while I was driving to work I thought about how Chad chose to marry me above all other women. He finds me most attractive. I am so lucky that out of all the millions of billions of women on this earth, he.chose.me.

Despite my best efforts I still fall short of being superwife, but I am learning.
My advice:

• Don’t let your own insecurities seep into your relationship with your husband. Know he loves you no matter what and let that give you confidence rather than dragging your husband down.


• Try to do your best to make dinner/clean the house as much as possible. This one is tough for me because I work all day and sometimes trying to muster the energy to cook dinner is just too much. Thankfully I have an extremely patient husband.


• We hear this everywhere, but really maintain your sexy self. Go to the gym, shower, and do your makeup. This shows your husband that you care and are putting forth an effort.


• The three P’s: prayer, patience and play. Pray for and with your husband daily, have patience with him and with yourself, and play. Get into tickle fights, wrestle and laugh.

Daughter:

• Call mom & dad at least once a week to let them know you’re thinking about them.


• If possible visit them at least every two weeks, even if it’s for five minutes. You’re off and married but we all still need our parents and they need us more than they’ll let on.

Sister:

• This is hard for me seeing how my only sibling is in Taiwan on a mission. But I make a priority to write to him weekly, and I try to include pictures and video so he doesn’t feel like he’s missing out on anything.


• With the in-laws I try to text, call or talk to them as much as I can. Let them know you’re interested in their lives and you’re so happy to be a part of the family.

Intern/Employee/Co-Worker:

• Get your assignments/projects done on time! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to pick up the slack for people who drop the ball, just don’t do it.


• Take responsibility for your results. Something didn’t turn out the way you planned or wanted? Take responsibility. There is nothing my boss hates more than an employee who blames their results on everyone else, every outside circumstance and never themselves. Be a big girl.


• Give an honest day’s work. Yes there are times when we can hardly stare at that excel spreadsheet anymore and we need to take a break. That’s fine, but make sure you’re putting in your best effort and your boss is paying you for making a contribution.

Friend:

• Schedule monthly or even bi weekly get together’s.


• Keep in contact anyway possible. I know my group of girlfriends we have a private blog where we can post things for each other. It’s a great way to let everyone know what’s really going on when we live far apart.


• Try and call, text or message them when they need a listening ear, or when you’re thinking about them.

Amongst all this don't forget to take some time out for yourself.

Yourself:

• Take 20 minutes to yourself each day to mediate, do yoga, write in your journal or just relax!


• Eat right! It can get hard to stay on top of meals when you're so busy. But make sure you're still getting the nutrients you need.


• Take a minute and think about all you've accomplished and what you want to take on next.

There you go! The little advice I can give to all as I’m growing up and “putting on my big girl pants.”