To be completely honest

I'm a blogging slacker. I blame some of it on grad school which is giving me gray hair and sucking all the light out of my life. Thank goodness for this wonderful spring break week.

Chad and I went on a hot date to his cadaver lab Saturday night after class. Honestly, it was pretty awesome. I thought I would be grossed out, but as Chad kept telling me, "these are not people anymore." I kept that mantra on repeat as he showed me all of the parts he has dissected and guys ... I got to hold a real human heart in my hand. I'm in communications, that was truly, and honestly a once in a lifetime opportunity for me. It was thought-provoking and surreal, I honestly loved it. 

Then that handsome man of mine went all out and made Brazilian food for Sunday dinner. My heart was swooning. Feijoada, couve cozida, Guaraná and Mousse de maracujá. You guys ... this took me right back to Brazil and all the people I love who live there. Chad and I are really going to try our darndest to get back there after his Step 1 next March. 

Lastly, I would like to issue a public apology to my amazing, incredibly extraordinary husband. The last 4 weeks of grad school truly got the better of me. I apologize for being angry and cold. I apologize for not giving you the recognition you deserve for cleaning the house, doing the laundry, taking care of Hobbes and simply loving me when I know it was hard. You are my dream man and so much more than I deserve, I am the luckiest lady on this earth.

Only 60 days until I walk. 

The scrubs with HIV

My dear darling husband got to scrub in for surgery yesterday (his first time ever!) and he absolutely LOVED IT! After an M3 (third year medical student) got queasy and almost passed out the trauma surgeon Chad's been shadowing asked him to scrub in. 

The surgery was on a patient who had HIV and needed a bowel resection. 
In terms the everyday person (me) can understand ... this patient had something dying in their stomach that needed to be taken out.

Chad said it was awesome and he got to help move the patient around, hence him getting blood on his scrubs.

Later that day, I walk through our front door and notice a plastic bag laying on the floor. Not thinking much of it I give Chad and Hobbes a kiss and go about my homemaking business. After a few minutes Chad said, "oh hey don't worry about washing those scrubs, I just return them to the hospital." Me, super excited that I don't have to wash scrubs, "OK awesome." A few more minutes pass and Chad goes, "Yeah those scrubs have HIV blood on them ..."

......

I think my blood pressure went from normal to cardiac arrest status faster than a Ferrari goes from 0 to 60. 
Me, "What?!?!"
Chad ever so cooly, "Oh it's no big deal, you won't get HIV from them."

Of course right as those words left Chad's lips Hobbes starts prancing over towards the plastic bag to explore what's in it. Without having to say anything Chad gets up and suggests that he "move the HIV laden scrubs elsewhere."

Yes, that would make more sense.
I don't need an HIV infected kitty running around the house.
Med school certainly keeps us on our toes, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Gratitude

10 things I love about the hubs.

(Yes there are more.)

1) He is so gosh darn patient with me. I can be the worst person to be around and Chad is ever so kind and patient with me. He patiently deals with my crazy moods and never gets upset, instead he tells me he loves me.

2) He is so witty and clever, but never uses that against me. Chad is quick as a whip, he always has something witty to say. But when we get into disagreements Chad never uses his wit or cleverness against me. Let's be honest, he could say something and I'd still be sitting there five minutes later trying to think of something more intelligible to say than, "ohhh ... well .... you're wrong!"

3) He is a wonderful priesthood holder. Chad is the best at being spiritual, seriously. He reads his scriptures on a daily basis, his prayers are always sincere even after a late night of studying, he fulfills his church callings despite being busy and he helps me fulfill my role and purpose in the church as well.

4) He is really good at being affectionate. You guys ... I am so, so, so bad at showing my affection. Chad is always hugging me, kissing me, cuddling with me. He is always saying he loves me, and how beautiful he thinks I am. For goodness sakes he even checks me out while I'm getting dressed and makes sure that I see him. Chad is an affectionate person.

5) He is really good at cooking and helping me cook. I can make a mean grilled cheese, but Chad can make five star creations without looking at a cookbook. He never complains about what I cook even if it tastes weird or isn't impressive, he always says, "this tastes great babe!" What a trooper.

6) He is a team player. Chad really, really wants our marriage to be about us as a team, and that's how it should be. I struggle with that because I am crazy independent. But Chad is always making sure that we make decisions together, and he lets me in like we are a team ... which we are.

7) He is down to earth. I can get extremely worked up over something someone said, or something I read and Chad is just so down to earth. He doesn't care about the opinions of sheep. He knows who he is, what he wants and he does not let anything get him down. 

8) He is actually really nice. Sometimes I think Chad tries to come off as the reserved maybe not so nice guy, but in reality he is the nicest guy I know. He is always talking to people, telling others how great they are, and validating strangers. Also, he is nice to me, I mean really REALLY nice, nicer than I deserve on some occasions.

9) His charm and charisma. Holy moly! This is what initially attracted me to Chad. He is so charming and charismatic that girls fall over themselves in the grocery store if he so much as offers a friendly, "hi" to them. And I get it, I fell for him, and I continue to because he is charming.

10) He is loyal. Chad is really loyal to his family and friends, which is what makes him such a wonderful friend, brother, son and husband. He will stick by those he loves to the end, come Hell or high water. You can count on him always being there when you need him the most.

Bane of my existence

For a couple weeks now I have been craving Sour Mambas. This craving isn't like, "oh I want some but if I don't get any no biggie." It's more of, "I NEEDED TO HAVE THEM YESTERDAAAAY!"

And I swear I have been to every grocery store here in Richmond with zero luck (also can't find Jr. Mints ... what gives RVA?) Chad, being the sweet hubby he is found a 24 pack of Sour Mambas on Amazon. As you can imagine 24 packs of Sour Mambas have some inherent problems.

1. I only need one pack
2. I would devour all 24 packs in one sitting
3. Where would we put 24 packs of Sour Mambas?!

I told Chad not to order them and I would just make due. You guys ... that was literally 2 weeks ago and I cannot get this craving out of my system ... I've been going back and forth about ordering the 24 pack or not. It's gotten to the point that I'll pull up Amazon just to look at them during grad school ...

Well today there was a lovely large box sitting on our doorstep, from Amazon, addressed to Chad. He brought it into the bedroom and said, "OK, this is an anniversary present. You can open it now or in 10 days (anniversary September 20)."

I asked him, "well do I want what's in the package now or will I want it 10 days from now?" You know what my hubby said?!?! Chad, "you will enjoy what's in the package equally now and 10 days from now." Whaaaaaat?!

Then I asked him point blank if the package was Sour Mambas, annnnnnnd he wouldn't tell me. This back and forth questioning of the package went on for the better half of dinner. On the one side "I really want Sour Mambas." On the other side, "what if it's NOT Sour Mambas?! I might be disappointed and ruin my anniversary present ..."

Chad told me I had ten minutes to decide and I battled with myself not coming to any conclusion. So there sits the Amazon package ... waiting ... tempting ... 

Playing doctor

Last night, I wanted to help Chad practice for his "patient history" exam today.
(It's where the doctors ask all about your medication, family, health, recreation history, etc.)

He looked at me cautiously, with a raised eyebrow and asked, "You really want me to ask about your history?"
Me, "Yeah I'll make up a character!"
He agreed and started right into it by sticking his hand out for me to shake it, "Hi Mrs. Spencer, I'm Chad. I'm going to be asking you a few questions before the doctor comes in."

Me, "HOLD ON! First, why did you say your name was 'CHAD'?! Shouldn't you say 'Dr. Spencer?'"
Him, "Babe, I'm not a doctor yet, so I'm Chad." And he continued ...

He proceeded to ask me lots of questions about my past medical health, family health, etc.
Somehow (and believe me, it just happened, no pre-meditation) I was a young married women, who had polio, small-pox and chicken-pox as a kid. My right eye didn't see very well, my parents were both dead and I had 6 brothers and 5 sisters who were all diabetic and alcoholic. I was anorexic because my husband was physically abusive, while sleeping around with other women. (What?!?! Guys, my imagination is uncontrollable sometimes ...) 

Through all of my ridiculous answers Chad was very professional and never ONCE broke out of his "doctorly-med-student" vibe he was sporting. I must say, it was pretty darn sexy.

After that he "robed" me (put a towel under my arms) and proceeded with the physical exam. Everything was fine until he said he wanted to look up my nose.

Me, "Are you serious?!"
Him, "Yeah, tilt your head up."
Me, "NO! There are somethings that should be left to a patient and her doctor, NOT husband and wife."
Chad shrugged, I'm sure he thought it was no big deal. But seriously?! How un-sexy is to be like, "hey husband, come look up my nose ..." grosssssss!

All in all he did a really good job (like I have anything to compare it to ...)
It was fun to see my man in action and the absolute confidence he had.
Mr. Spencer will make a fine Dr. Spencer.

Where you invest your love you invest your life

You guys, lately this saying has really been ringing true to me. I've been thinking a lot about school, work, timing, etc. I've been thinking about Chad starting medical school and how he's about to invest countless hours into becoming a doctor. I know at different times in life you need to focus on certain things. Medical school, career, raising kids. 

But I think that no matter where your focus is, you need to make sure you're investing your love into the things that are the "most important." It is possible to be in school, work and still have a solid relationship with someone. 

I fee like too many people get caught up in "making a big paycheck," "becoming super popular," "getting the latest gadget," that they forget to invest their love into people.

Where you invest your love, you invest your life. Let that sink in a little bit. I know I need to do a better job of investing my love into my relationship with Chad. He's really good at being married, I'm really only "so-so." My new goal is to invest more love into my love for Chad.

Mixtape #2

When Chad is at work and I'm home alone I dance. I dance like crazy. And sing. I dance and sing all around our tiny house. I crank the music so all of Center St. can hear. Then I keep dancing and singing until my throat is sore. When I look at the clock and see that Chad will be home in 5 minutes. Then I stop. He can't see me singing and dancing like a maniac.  

Here's what I've been dancing too lately.

Happy Birthday & New Hair

This past Friday the handsome husband turned 26. While he doesn't really "like" birthdays, and doesn't make them a big deal; I wanted to do something special for him.

My awesome boss at NorthStar gave us a giftcard to Ruth Chris' Steakhouse in Park City. Helllllo. Dinner was fantastic! Chad got a 22 oz. kobe bone-in steak. I won't tell you how much it cost (it was ridiculous) but dinner was well worth it.

I felt weird taking pictures at such a nice restaurant so I only took three ...

After that I took him to a hotel in Park City. We had a suite with a heart shaped Jacuzzi tub, it was a lot of bubbly fun. I also bought him a cake from Coldstone, but it decided to melt in our cooler. Wa wa waaaa.

Oh and I decided to lighten my hair for the summer. It looks better in person.
(Sorry mom)

  Before                                                        After

6 Months of Marital Bliss

Today it has been six months since Chad & I tied the knot. All I can say is that it truly has been marital bliss. I hear lots of stories about how "the first year is soooooooooo hard!" And, "oh man it's such an adjustment," and "it's extremely difficult and you're going to have to compromise everything." I'm not saying that my marriage is perfect by any means, but I haven't found it hard to be married. Chad and I talk whenever there's an issue or we want something. We play together and work together. I am happy to say that these past six months have really been a blast. I'm so happy to be married to such a wonderful man.

To celebrate, last night we went the renowned Black Sheep Cafe. I got the Navajao Taco Trio, Chad got the goat cheese burger. It was delicious. Then Chad surprised me by taking me to this sketchy taco stand next to our house where we got ... deep fried Oreos! They're not as good as the ones he makes, but they were yummy and a great tradition for us.

Happy six months Chad. I love you.

My heart goes patter patter patter

Married people please chime in.

I've been thinking a lot about when I was single, and how everyday (seriously) I would dream of the day that I was married! It seemed so unreal, and almost intangible that someday I would be married. Now that I am, in fact a Mrs. I can't even remember what it feels like to be not married.

I love being married. It feels so, natural.

Sometimes at night I'll have nightmares where I'm not married, and dating random guys and there's drama and craziness. Then I wake up, heart racing and see Chad sleeping there. Everysingletime I see him my heart goes back to normal with a sigh of relief.

What would I do without my man?

When I think about Chad and him meeting new people, my heart gets all excited because he's the most handsomely amazing man and I love showing him off. And I think if you're going to marry someone, you should feel that way.

Yay for being eternally exclusive.

Opening up in marriage

Sometimes being married is hard. Not hard because marriage is a terribly difficult thing, but hard because you have to invest every ounce of yourself in it. Sometimes you have to open up and say things you really don't want to say to your spouse. Out of fear that you might hurt their feelings, fear that you'll expose a side of yourself they've never seen before, fear that by opening up you become really vulnerable to them. I hope that no one is in a marital situation where they would feel judged, because marriage is about two completely imperfect people coming together to make one thing amazing.

Sometimes it's easier to just sit back and think, "well, I can handle all my problems on my own and I don't need anyone's stinking help!" That's me, right there. I think I can just take on battling evil, keeping the house clean, work 40 hours a week, hit the gym, deal with family & friends, moving, cooking and trying to look nice for my spouse; all on my own. But I can't, and even though sometimes I try really, really hard to work out my issues on my own, I know it's always better when I tell my hubby what's going on. Because he can - no - he wants to help me get through my issues.

Today at church I was playing a game on my phone *gasps* and my hubby was trying to help me win it. Even then I thought, "I can win this stupid game on my own ..." I didn't.

I think, for me at least, it's really hard to see how much I need my spouse's help with everything. Sometimes it's hard, and sometimes I have to completely humble myself to dirt before I can work up the courage to say to him, "I need help ..." but when I do he's always there with a hug and non-judmental heart.

It's just another flaw I'm working on, but with time I'll get it right. Good thing I've got this handsome guy to help me with it. (Yeah look at those biceps!)



Any ideas, stories or suggestions on opening up to your SO?

Date Idea!

A few weeks ago I was feeling like Mr. Spencer was doing a lot for me, but I wasn't really giving anything in return. I decided to create a date that was focused 100% on him. It was super easy and cheap to put on, but we had a really great time. Here's the date.

• Think of some things your SO enjoys. For me I came up with seven things that interest Mr. Spencer.

• Write a sweet note explaining the date and what will take place.

• Plan an activity that corresponds with each interest you thought of.

This is what I did for Mr. Spencer:

1- Drinks, mixology:
Chad's always making great new non-alcoholic drinks. I decided to take him to Spark where we could try some of their amazing creations. We ordered habanero lime lemonade, simply citrus, passion fruit and desert pear lemonade. We also ordered herb fries as an appetizer.

2- Cooking:
Chad LOVES to cook but I saved this part for later in the date. After Spark we came home and ate dinner that I cooked for him. But knowing that he wanted in on the action I planned to let him cook deep fried Oreos for me. I'm glad I did because they were delish!

3- Music, piano:
Chad's an amazing pianist, and I can pound out chopsticks. For this part of the date we sat down and played a few SUPER EASY songs together. Then I picked out some songs I wanted him to play for me. It was great to see his enthusiasm for the piano, and just listen to him play.

4- Skiing:
This one was fun. We both put on a few pieces of our snow gear and sat down on the couch. There I pulled up some AMAZING freestyle skiing videos that were really fun to watch. You can one of them here.

5- Shooting:
It was too dark (and cold) to actually go out shooting. But that's nothing that a Wii shooting game can't fix.

6- Relaxation:
I let Chad get comfy and I put on some Enya and dimmed the lights. Then I gave him a nice long massage to loosen up all those tense skiing muscles

7- Your favorite:
This is NOT what you're thinking. It was his favorite movie, A Beautiful Mind.

It was overall a really fun date to plan and even more fun to do. Easy, cheap and fun! Plus your SO will think you're the best person in the entire world for thinking of them.

 

Little things

Last night I was thinking about what grand, romantic gesture I was going to do for Chad this Valentine's Day. It got me thinking that while grand, romantic gestures are nice, it's the little daily things that really make a difference in our relationship. Chad's really good at doing little things to show he loves me.

He warms up my side of the bed before we go to sleep

He makes sure not to park in in the snow where I get out of the car

He shovels the snow by our curb so I can park easier

He kisses me when he wakes up during the night

He convinces me to take a ski day even if it means he has to stay at work until 1 a.m.

He listens when I tell him about my day

He drives to my parents to let their dog out while they're gone

He takes extra chocolate covered cinnamon bears from wedding receptions just so he can give them to me later

He holds me tight when we walk on the ice so I don't slip and fall

These little things really make all the difference. What are some little things your significant other does for you?