Changes, chaaaaaanges

Things are going on … and they’re happening really quickly.

Remember how my dad got his VP promotion? Yes, he’s leaving for Virginia next Tuesday. I don’t even know how to put my feelings into words about this.

1)      I am so excited and happy for him. He deserves this more than anyone else I know.

2)      He’s really going to be on the east coast, which is too far away until Chad and I head out in the middle of July.

3)      Even though he’s going to be in the same state as me, he’s going to be living a few hours away. No more driving ten minutes to the parent’s house to play with Lili, do laundry, talk to dad. Weird.

My mom will be following right behind him; their house is sold and closed. Yes, that all happened in three days. She’ll be leaving on a plane May 13^th to Virginia. Bye-bye parents and Lili.

The house where I grew up is going to be gone. Not gone, but I will never see it again. It will be a home to a young family from New Finland. How strange it’s going to be to not play basketball in the back yard, run around the family and living room with Lili, run across the hall into Harry’s room at night to scare him, sit at the dinner table on warm Sunday afternoons with our windows open.

How strange this all seems to me. I think I finally really understand the word, “bittersweet.”

I know it’s part of life, growing up, moving away … but there’s a tiny piece of my heart that is really sad.

Here’s to changes, big and small. Here’s to wonderful years in my home. Here’s to moving on to new adventures with Chad.

Opening up in marriage

Sometimes being married is hard. Not hard because marriage is a terribly difficult thing, but hard because you have to invest every ounce of yourself in it. Sometimes you have to open up and say things you really don't want to say to your spouse. Out of fear that you might hurt their feelings, fear that you'll expose a side of yourself they've never seen before, fear that by opening up you become really vulnerable to them. I hope that no one is in a marital situation where they would feel judged, because marriage is about two completely imperfect people coming together to make one thing amazing.

Sometimes it's easier to just sit back and think, "well, I can handle all my problems on my own and I don't need anyone's stinking help!" That's me, right there. I think I can just take on battling evil, keeping the house clean, work 40 hours a week, hit the gym, deal with family & friends, moving, cooking and trying to look nice for my spouse; all on my own. But I can't, and even though sometimes I try really, really hard to work out my issues on my own, I know it's always better when I tell my hubby what's going on. Because he can - no - he wants to help me get through my issues.

Today at church I was playing a game on my phone *gasps* and my hubby was trying to help me win it. Even then I thought, "I can win this stupid game on my own ..." I didn't.

I think, for me at least, it's really hard to see how much I need my spouse's help with everything. Sometimes it's hard, and sometimes I have to completely humble myself to dirt before I can work up the courage to say to him, "I need help ..." but when I do he's always there with a hug and non-judmental heart.

It's just another flaw I'm working on, but with time I'll get it right. Good thing I've got this handsome guy to help me with it. (Yeah look at those biceps!)



Any ideas, stories or suggestions on opening up to your SO?

Little things

Last night I was thinking about what grand, romantic gesture I was going to do for Chad this Valentine's Day. It got me thinking that while grand, romantic gestures are nice, it's the little daily things that really make a difference in our relationship. Chad's really good at doing little things to show he loves me.

He warms up my side of the bed before we go to sleep

He makes sure not to park in in the snow where I get out of the car

He shovels the snow by our curb so I can park easier

He kisses me when he wakes up during the night

He convinces me to take a ski day even if it means he has to stay at work until 1 a.m.

He listens when I tell him about my day

He drives to my parents to let their dog out while they're gone

He takes extra chocolate covered cinnamon bears from wedding receptions just so he can give them to me later

He holds me tight when we walk on the ice so I don't slip and fall

These little things really make all the difference. What are some little things your significant other does for you?

Learning from our home

Lessons I've learned from our 1880's home.

#1) If you want to be a responsible adult and do the dishes the hot water pipe WILL burst!!! Surging waters will start to fill up your cabinet where all your cleaning supplies are. You'll have to risk your skin and face to reach and turn off the water. All the while being sprayed mercilessly by hot water that becomes more intense before it turns off. I seriously looked like this:



#2) If you want to be clean and put your clothes away properly you must enter a freezer to do so. Yes, our closet is the same temperature as it is outside. Rather than risk going into it I have a nice pile of clothes on the side of my bed, seriously, I don't want to get frost bite from being tidy!



#3) If I want to be a good wife and make my husband pancakes on our electric griddle AND heat him hot cocoa in the microwave, all the power in the house will turn off. Then we'll have to trudge through the snow outside to try and get it back on. Cold cereal is a breakfast staple.



#4) To get heat going through the living room we need to turn on the ceiling fan. That way all the hot air at the top of our ceiling gets pushed to the floor. Makes sense, to get warm turn on fan.



All in all I can now say that I've learned how to be a better functioning adult. If not that I've learned a great deal of patience.

Putting on my big girl pants

In the next few weeks life will be winding down so to speak. My internship will be ending, I’ll go from two part time jobs to one full time job. I’ll be a BYU, college graduate.

At this time I want to pass on some words of wisdom on how to balance all the challenges of daily life, be a good wife, daughter, sister, intern, employee, friend and co-worker all while maintaining your sanity.

Good wife: This is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Today while I was driving to work I thought about how Chad chose to marry me above all other women. He finds me most attractive. I am so lucky that out of all the millions of billions of women on this earth, he.chose.me.

Despite my best efforts I still fall short of being superwife, but I am learning.
My advice:

• Don’t let your own insecurities seep into your relationship with your husband. Know he loves you no matter what and let that give you confidence rather than dragging your husband down.


• Try to do your best to make dinner/clean the house as much as possible. This one is tough for me because I work all day and sometimes trying to muster the energy to cook dinner is just too much. Thankfully I have an extremely patient husband.


• We hear this everywhere, but really maintain your sexy self. Go to the gym, shower, and do your makeup. This shows your husband that you care and are putting forth an effort.


• The three P’s: prayer, patience and play. Pray for and with your husband daily, have patience with him and with yourself, and play. Get into tickle fights, wrestle and laugh.

Daughter:

• Call mom & dad at least once a week to let them know you’re thinking about them.


• If possible visit them at least every two weeks, even if it’s for five minutes. You’re off and married but we all still need our parents and they need us more than they’ll let on.

Sister:

• This is hard for me seeing how my only sibling is in Taiwan on a mission. But I make a priority to write to him weekly, and I try to include pictures and video so he doesn’t feel like he’s missing out on anything.


• With the in-laws I try to text, call or talk to them as much as I can. Let them know you’re interested in their lives and you’re so happy to be a part of the family.

Intern/Employee/Co-Worker:

• Get your assignments/projects done on time! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to pick up the slack for people who drop the ball, just don’t do it.


• Take responsibility for your results. Something didn’t turn out the way you planned or wanted? Take responsibility. There is nothing my boss hates more than an employee who blames their results on everyone else, every outside circumstance and never themselves. Be a big girl.


• Give an honest day’s work. Yes there are times when we can hardly stare at that excel spreadsheet anymore and we need to take a break. That’s fine, but make sure you’re putting in your best effort and your boss is paying you for making a contribution.

Friend:

• Schedule monthly or even bi weekly get together’s.


• Keep in contact anyway possible. I know my group of girlfriends we have a private blog where we can post things for each other. It’s a great way to let everyone know what’s really going on when we live far apart.


• Try and call, text or message them when they need a listening ear, or when you’re thinking about them.

Amongst all this don't forget to take some time out for yourself.

Yourself:

• Take 20 minutes to yourself each day to mediate, do yoga, write in your journal or just relax!


• Eat right! It can get hard to stay on top of meals when you're so busy. But make sure you're still getting the nutrients you need.


• Take a minute and think about all you've accomplished and what you want to take on next.

There you go! The little advice I can give to all as I’m growing up and “putting on my big girl pants.”