A word to med school spouses ...

 

First view this ... because it is accurate 95% of the time. 

It is a well known fact that med school is no walk in the park, and the naivety of those who say it's 
"the good life" 
will drive med students and spouses mad. 

The typical med student day looks like this: 
wake at 6 am
school 8 am - 5 pm
study 5 pm - 2 am
repeat

Granted there are days when this is less or more depending on exam schedules. Recently, I have overheard med student spouses talking to first year spouses or future med school spouses about how Hellish the experience is. 

This makes me so mad. 

It might be that Chad does an excellent job of giving me the attention I need, but I think in reality being married to a med student simply is not that hard. I hate when spouses say, "I feel like a single mom," or "I haven't spoken to my husband in months," or "you will never EVER see your spouse." 

Just stop.

If I have learned anything it is that med school is what you make of it. If you want to do your spouse a "favor" by not talking to them for months so they can study, that is your choice. For Chad & I we choose to carve out time to talk with one another. We even cuddle, eat ice cream, and *gasp* watch How I Met Your Mother episodes.


Yes, there are times when it is harder to see each other, * boards anyone ? * *rotations ? *
Maybe I'm only a first year spouse, and things get harder ...
but my sweeping declaration for all future med student spouses out there, "Med school is an amazing, wonderful experience. You make it what you want, and you can in fact spend time with your spouse!"

I want to hear from YOU! Have a med student spouse? How do you find time to be with each other? How does having kids change the med school experience? (<--- really want to know about this one)

Mrs. Independent

Little known fact, I am, and I quote "fiercely independent." 

It's a joke around the house I tell Chad, "I do what I want!" Which most times is true. The only time I don't do what I want is when something is not in the best interest of our family (Chad, Hobbes and I). 

A few weeks ago Chad said something to me that had a profound effect on me and ate away at my soul.

"Hailey, you are fiercely independent, but that's not why you're here. You're here to be in a family."

Those words pierced me in a way that I will never forget them. Not in a negative way, just a way that will make me think about my real purpose and what my biggest priority should be ...

Slacking

Many things have been happening in the Spencer household. These past two months have been extremely taxing emotionally and physically for Chad and I. I apologize for the lack of blogage and hope I can be forgiven.

Catch up: I am finished with my finals which means I have one semester left until I have my Master's degree! Chad has his last final this Thursday and then he will start his M2 academia. 

Also ....

We have an addition to our little family ... it's a BOY ... and he's four months along. 


Meet Hobbes. 

We love him more than we thought possible. He is the most playful, adventurous, sweet, loving kitty. We are extremely happy to have him in our lives. Our little family is perfect.

Male and Female differences

Before I dive into this post please know that I will no longer be posting on Facebook each time I have a new post. If you'd like to be informed when the blog is updated all you have to do is become a follower. 

And now ...

I've noticed that there are a lot of differences between men and women in the way we think. Something that we as wives would think to be completely logic can sometimes come off as insane to our loving hubbys.

But I think we should embrace these differences, and learn to love the adventure in them.

Here is an illustrated example for you of the differences between Chad and I. I love that hubby of mine.

This is his side of the bed. Complete with shotgun shells just in case a bad guy breaks in and he needs to pull out the big gun.

This is my side of the bed. A little more detailed and girly.

Even with our differences we love love each other. In fact, I think that our differences are some things that we love about each other.

Changes, chaaaaaanges

Things are going on … and they’re happening really quickly.

Remember how my dad got his VP promotion? Yes, he’s leaving for Virginia next Tuesday. I don’t even know how to put my feelings into words about this.

1)      I am so excited and happy for him. He deserves this more than anyone else I know.

2)      He’s really going to be on the east coast, which is too far away until Chad and I head out in the middle of July.

3)      Even though he’s going to be in the same state as me, he’s going to be living a few hours away. No more driving ten minutes to the parent’s house to play with Lili, do laundry, talk to dad. Weird.

My mom will be following right behind him; their house is sold and closed. Yes, that all happened in three days. She’ll be leaving on a plane May 13^th to Virginia. Bye-bye parents and Lili.

The house where I grew up is going to be gone. Not gone, but I will never see it again. It will be a home to a young family from New Finland. How strange it’s going to be to not play basketball in the back yard, run around the family and living room with Lili, run across the hall into Harry’s room at night to scare him, sit at the dinner table on warm Sunday afternoons with our windows open.

How strange this all seems to me. I think I finally really understand the word, “bittersweet.”

I know it’s part of life, growing up, moving away … but there’s a tiny piece of my heart that is really sad.

Here’s to changes, big and small. Here’s to wonderful years in my home. Here’s to moving on to new adventures with Chad.

6 Months of Marital Bliss

Today it has been six months since Chad & I tied the knot. All I can say is that it truly has been marital bliss. I hear lots of stories about how "the first year is soooooooooo hard!" And, "oh man it's such an adjustment," and "it's extremely difficult and you're going to have to compromise everything." I'm not saying that my marriage is perfect by any means, but I haven't found it hard to be married. Chad and I talk whenever there's an issue or we want something. We play together and work together. I am happy to say that these past six months have really been a blast. I'm so happy to be married to such a wonderful man.

To celebrate, last night we went the renowned Black Sheep Cafe. I got the Navajao Taco Trio, Chad got the goat cheese burger. It was delicious. Then Chad surprised me by taking me to this sketchy taco stand next to our house where we got ... deep fried Oreos! They're not as good as the ones he makes, but they were yummy and a great tradition for us.

Happy six months Chad. I love you.

My heart goes patter patter patter

Married people please chime in.

I've been thinking a lot about when I was single, and how everyday (seriously) I would dream of the day that I was married! It seemed so unreal, and almost intangible that someday I would be married. Now that I am, in fact a Mrs. I can't even remember what it feels like to be not married.

I love being married. It feels so, natural.

Sometimes at night I'll have nightmares where I'm not married, and dating random guys and there's drama and craziness. Then I wake up, heart racing and see Chad sleeping there. Everysingletime I see him my heart goes back to normal with a sigh of relief.

What would I do without my man?

When I think about Chad and him meeting new people, my heart gets all excited because he's the most handsomely amazing man and I love showing him off. And I think if you're going to marry someone, you should feel that way.

Yay for being eternally exclusive.

The best day of my life

This month marks 6 months from the day that Chad & I fully committed our lives to one another.

While I was looking through our guest book, wedding cards and photos, I kept thinking, "that was the best day ever!" Our sealing, our rings, our friends and family, our love, our luncheon, our reception, our drive to the hotel, everything was absolutely perfect. It's hard to think of anything else that will ever compare to that day. It's a cliche, but my wedding day to Chad really, truly was the best day of my life.

Her side of the story ...

It’s a love story – her side

I had come home from my mission totally ready to wed. I started going on lots of dates, think MILLIONS. With every type of guy God created. Some were fun, some were weird, some were boring, but none were “right.” My mom was prepping for her fall classes and I had the brilliant idea to look at her picture class roll to scope out some hotties. Nothing from her second class, her first class however was promising. I picked out one guy who was from California, brown hair, seemed legit. Then there was another guy, from Colorado, black hair and a gorgeous smile, seemed too good to be true. I tried to Facebook stalk him, which turned up nothing. First thought, “he must be married with kids!”

I decided to “drop by” my mom’s class on the first day and introduce myself. It was such a blur that I don’t remember seeing that stud from Colorado, but I did go talk to my friend Amanda F. about her up-coming wedding, told the class I was single and walked out.

I continued dating other guys.

A few weeks later I got an assignment from one of my classes to interview pre-med, bio students. Knowing that my mom pretty much only taught those kids I went to her class with a sign-up sheet. I explained the situation and asked for everyone to sign it. Done. Then I contacted the said individuals on the sign-up sheet. Enter the stud from Colorado.

I was getting tired and pushed for time so I emailed that stud to ask if he just wanted to do the interview online. He said that he preferred to do it in person, at 7:30 am!!! Ugh, that’s early. Everything inside of me wanted to ditch that interview but there was a little voice that told me to go and do it.

We met at Jamba Juice and I offered to buy him a Jamba in exchange for his time. I remembered thinking he was pretty dang cute. He also refused my Jamba offer saying, “I have a bagel.” Which he never did eat. I interviewed him and a few things stood out to me. “I won’t perform a legit surgery on my own until I’m 36.” “Saying I’m going to be a doctor is nice with the ladies.” We finished the interview and he was a gem and offered to walk me outside. He stood up and we talked and walked outside. We were in front of the Crab Tree where I worked at the time and I said thank you again and he told me he had to go finish a paper for my mom’s class. We went our separate ways and I kept thinking, “he is a stud.”

Sent him a follow-up text. He texted me back.
We texted back and forth for about a month and a half before our first date.

He texted me while I was sitting in sacrament meeting. “This is last minute but I was thinking of driving the alpine loop today, want to go?” I thought he would never ask! I was soooo ecstatic that it must have been the longest 3 hours of my entire life. I came home and got ready and literally waited, heart pounding for 45 minutes.

When he came and picked me up my first thoughts were: 1) OhMyGosh he is SUPER handsome. 2) What a cool car! 3) I can’t believe this is happening, finally.

The Alpine Loop was great, but being with him was better. He was funny, classy, open and intelligent. I wanted the loop to last all day. When he asked me out for a second date while dropping me off I couldn’t hold back how happy I was and I’m sure I had a ridiculous smile on my face.

Yes, yes, yes!

Date 2, 3, 4, 5 …

Text to my mom, “he is the BEST unofficial boyfriend EVER!”

One night in particular he asked if he could call me his “girlfriend” I have never been so happy in my entire life. We sat there in silence, cuddling. It felt so good and so right. I felt like I belonged with him and that we fit together so perfectly. Beside the fact that he was so incredibly handsome, I wanted to be with him all the time. He was all I could think about, all I could talk about, and all I wanted.

10 months later I became his wifey, forever.
And I couldn’t be happier.

Little things

Last night I was thinking about what grand, romantic gesture I was going to do for Chad this Valentine's Day. It got me thinking that while grand, romantic gestures are nice, it's the little daily things that really make a difference in our relationship. Chad's really good at doing little things to show he loves me.

He warms up my side of the bed before we go to sleep

He makes sure not to park in in the snow where I get out of the car

He shovels the snow by our curb so I can park easier

He kisses me when he wakes up during the night

He convinces me to take a ski day even if it means he has to stay at work until 1 a.m.

He listens when I tell him about my day

He drives to my parents to let their dog out while they're gone

He takes extra chocolate covered cinnamon bears from wedding receptions just so he can give them to me later

He holds me tight when we walk on the ice so I don't slip and fall

These little things really make all the difference. What are some little things your significant other does for you?

The men in my life

I have been so richly blessed to have amazing - no that doesn't even describe it - extraordinary men in my life.

Starting with the obvious:

My husband.
Chad M. Spencer is extraordinary in every single way.
I literally do not know where to begin.

1. He is a worthy priesthood holder


2. He has the hardest work ethic of anyone I know (tied with my dad)


3. He is extremely loving towards me, even when I'm being a brat and don't deserve his love


4. He has already accomplished so much at the age of 25, and he still has so much more he will do


5. He lets me take long showers sacrificing hot water for himself


6. He plays with me


7. He is a great older brother, who is always looking out for his sibling's best interests

My dad.
Thomas W. Nickell

1. He is a worthy priesthood holder


2. He taught me how to work hard and the value of a dollar


3. He always fulfills his callings, work responsibilities with grace and accountability


4. He has always made time to be apart of our family and do activities with me


5. He let Chad marry me


6. He treats my mom like gold


7. He makes great engineer/dad jokes

My little brother.
Elder Harrison T. Nickell

1. He is the most hilarious person in this world


2. He is a worthy priesthood holder


3. He extremely loyal to his family and friends


4. He makes up the best songs


5. He also makes the best videos that will make you fall over with laughter


6. He never gives up


7. He has a big heart towards people and animals


8. He has the most wise advice even from a 20 year old

My brother-in-law
Seth C. Spencer

1. He is a worthy priesthood holder


2. He has the brightest testimony in the world


3. He is the strongest person you will ever meet


4. Kicked cancer in the butt, TWICE


5. He is super optimistic


6. He makes great baklava


7. You will never find a kinder, more determined young man

My father-in-law
Todd M. Spencer

1. He is very helpful around the house


2. He is a worthy priesthood holder


3. He has bees which make delicious honey


4. He cares about his family more than himself


5. He is very kind


6. He loves his work


7. He makes others feel welcome in any situation

How lucky am I?

2012 Recap

2012 was a goooooooood year!

Here are just a few reasons why.

Hailey graduated.

Harry hit his one year mark!



Many fun vacations with family and friends.





Chad ate sushi for the first time.



The ages for missionaries changed to 18 (elders) and 19 (sisters).



Kailee had her first baby.

We got engaged.



Then married.



Then honeymooned.



Chad got accepted to med school.



Now we're starting 2013, together.

I can't wait to see what 2013 has for us!!!

Putting on my big girl pants

In the next few weeks life will be winding down so to speak. My internship will be ending, I’ll go from two part time jobs to one full time job. I’ll be a BYU, college graduate.

At this time I want to pass on some words of wisdom on how to balance all the challenges of daily life, be a good wife, daughter, sister, intern, employee, friend and co-worker all while maintaining your sanity.

Good wife: This is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Today while I was driving to work I thought about how Chad chose to marry me above all other women. He finds me most attractive. I am so lucky that out of all the millions of billions of women on this earth, he.chose.me.

Despite my best efforts I still fall short of being superwife, but I am learning.
My advice:

• Don’t let your own insecurities seep into your relationship with your husband. Know he loves you no matter what and let that give you confidence rather than dragging your husband down.


• Try to do your best to make dinner/clean the house as much as possible. This one is tough for me because I work all day and sometimes trying to muster the energy to cook dinner is just too much. Thankfully I have an extremely patient husband.


• We hear this everywhere, but really maintain your sexy self. Go to the gym, shower, and do your makeup. This shows your husband that you care and are putting forth an effort.


• The three P’s: prayer, patience and play. Pray for and with your husband daily, have patience with him and with yourself, and play. Get into tickle fights, wrestle and laugh.

Daughter:

• Call mom & dad at least once a week to let them know you’re thinking about them.


• If possible visit them at least every two weeks, even if it’s for five minutes. You’re off and married but we all still need our parents and they need us more than they’ll let on.

Sister:

• This is hard for me seeing how my only sibling is in Taiwan on a mission. But I make a priority to write to him weekly, and I try to include pictures and video so he doesn’t feel like he’s missing out on anything.


• With the in-laws I try to text, call or talk to them as much as I can. Let them know you’re interested in their lives and you’re so happy to be a part of the family.

Intern/Employee/Co-Worker:

• Get your assignments/projects done on time! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to pick up the slack for people who drop the ball, just don’t do it.


• Take responsibility for your results. Something didn’t turn out the way you planned or wanted? Take responsibility. There is nothing my boss hates more than an employee who blames their results on everyone else, every outside circumstance and never themselves. Be a big girl.


• Give an honest day’s work. Yes there are times when we can hardly stare at that excel spreadsheet anymore and we need to take a break. That’s fine, but make sure you’re putting in your best effort and your boss is paying you for making a contribution.

Friend:

• Schedule monthly or even bi weekly get together’s.


• Keep in contact anyway possible. I know my group of girlfriends we have a private blog where we can post things for each other. It’s a great way to let everyone know what’s really going on when we live far apart.


• Try and call, text or message them when they need a listening ear, or when you’re thinking about them.

Amongst all this don't forget to take some time out for yourself.

Yourself:

• Take 20 minutes to yourself each day to mediate, do yoga, write in your journal or just relax!


• Eat right! It can get hard to stay on top of meals when you're so busy. But make sure you're still getting the nutrients you need.


• Take a minute and think about all you've accomplished and what you want to take on next.

There you go! The little advice I can give to all as I’m growing up and “putting on my big girl pants.”

Joshua James

Last night after a long day at work my loving, dear husband surprised me with tickets to see:

JOSHUA JAMES!

If you've never heard of this amazing singer and his band you are missing out on a musical feast. They're like Mumford & Sons but with more rock n' roll. All I can say is I was stoked to be going! Last night and TONIGHT they are performing at Velour to promote their new album. Other than the huge heard of hipsters, and me forgetting to dress like one, the concert was ahhhhhmazing! I loved it! More than Chad even knows, and he's not into that music at all. What a trooper to take me. If you haven't heard them check them out here: JJ  (He's really not as folky as it sounds.) But really buy the album, it won't let you down.

This is Joshua:



Who looks a lot like 30 Seconds to Mars' Jared Leto:



TONIGHT, THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 29, 2012 is the last night they'll be in town for a while. If you're reading this and want to go, text/fb/call me and I will be there in a heartbeat! It was that good.

Thank you Chad for surprising me with these tix and making my night. Swooooooon.