Mrs. Independent

Little known fact, I am, and I quote "fiercely independent." 

It's a joke around the house I tell Chad, "I do what I want!" Which most times is true. The only time I don't do what I want is when something is not in the best interest of our family (Chad, Hobbes and I). 

A few weeks ago Chad said something to me that had a profound effect on me and ate away at my soul.

"Hailey, you are fiercely independent, but that's not why you're here. You're here to be in a family."

Those words pierced me in a way that I will never forget them. Not in a negative way, just a way that will make me think about my real purpose and what my biggest priority should be ...

One Year Anniversary pt I

Yes I have to split up posts about our one year anniversary because it was just that wonderful. 

We all know that tradition where you eat the same cake you had on the day of your wedding. Well, I personally think that is kind of gross ... so instead I made a three layer Magelby's Chocolate Cake.

Chad got me Waffle Crisps (inside story) annnnnd Sour Mambas!!!

 I got him an awesome lunchbox, and human heart print.

pt. II coming soon ...

6 Months of Marital Bliss

Today it has been six months since Chad & I tied the knot. All I can say is that it truly has been marital bliss. I hear lots of stories about how "the first year is soooooooooo hard!" And, "oh man it's such an adjustment," and "it's extremely difficult and you're going to have to compromise everything." I'm not saying that my marriage is perfect by any means, but I haven't found it hard to be married. Chad and I talk whenever there's an issue or we want something. We play together and work together. I am happy to say that these past six months have really been a blast. I'm so happy to be married to such a wonderful man.

To celebrate, last night we went the renowned Black Sheep Cafe. I got the Navajao Taco Trio, Chad got the goat cheese burger. It was delicious. Then Chad surprised me by taking me to this sketchy taco stand next to our house where we got ... deep fried Oreos! They're not as good as the ones he makes, but they were yummy and a great tradition for us.

Happy six months Chad. I love you.

My heart goes patter patter patter

Married people please chime in.

I've been thinking a lot about when I was single, and how everyday (seriously) I would dream of the day that I was married! It seemed so unreal, and almost intangible that someday I would be married. Now that I am, in fact a Mrs. I can't even remember what it feels like to be not married.

I love being married. It feels so, natural.

Sometimes at night I'll have nightmares where I'm not married, and dating random guys and there's drama and craziness. Then I wake up, heart racing and see Chad sleeping there. Everysingletime I see him my heart goes back to normal with a sigh of relief.

What would I do without my man?

When I think about Chad and him meeting new people, my heart gets all excited because he's the most handsomely amazing man and I love showing him off. And I think if you're going to marry someone, you should feel that way.

Yay for being eternally exclusive.

The best day of my life

This month marks 6 months from the day that Chad & I fully committed our lives to one another.

While I was looking through our guest book, wedding cards and photos, I kept thinking, "that was the best day ever!" Our sealing, our rings, our friends and family, our love, our luncheon, our reception, our drive to the hotel, everything was absolutely perfect. It's hard to think of anything else that will ever compare to that day. It's a cliche, but my wedding day to Chad really, truly was the best day of my life.

Opening up in marriage

Sometimes being married is hard. Not hard because marriage is a terribly difficult thing, but hard because you have to invest every ounce of yourself in it. Sometimes you have to open up and say things you really don't want to say to your spouse. Out of fear that you might hurt their feelings, fear that you'll expose a side of yourself they've never seen before, fear that by opening up you become really vulnerable to them. I hope that no one is in a marital situation where they would feel judged, because marriage is about two completely imperfect people coming together to make one thing amazing.

Sometimes it's easier to just sit back and think, "well, I can handle all my problems on my own and I don't need anyone's stinking help!" That's me, right there. I think I can just take on battling evil, keeping the house clean, work 40 hours a week, hit the gym, deal with family & friends, moving, cooking and trying to look nice for my spouse; all on my own. But I can't, and even though sometimes I try really, really hard to work out my issues on my own, I know it's always better when I tell my hubby what's going on. Because he can - no - he wants to help me get through my issues.

Today at church I was playing a game on my phone *gasps* and my hubby was trying to help me win it. Even then I thought, "I can win this stupid game on my own ..." I didn't.

I think, for me at least, it's really hard to see how much I need my spouse's help with everything. Sometimes it's hard, and sometimes I have to completely humble myself to dirt before I can work up the courage to say to him, "I need help ..." but when I do he's always there with a hug and non-judmental heart.

It's just another flaw I'm working on, but with time I'll get it right. Good thing I've got this handsome guy to help me with it. (Yeah look at those biceps!)



Any ideas, stories or suggestions on opening up to your SO?

Her side of the story ...

It’s a love story – her side

I had come home from my mission totally ready to wed. I started going on lots of dates, think MILLIONS. With every type of guy God created. Some were fun, some were weird, some were boring, but none were “right.” My mom was prepping for her fall classes and I had the brilliant idea to look at her picture class roll to scope out some hotties. Nothing from her second class, her first class however was promising. I picked out one guy who was from California, brown hair, seemed legit. Then there was another guy, from Colorado, black hair and a gorgeous smile, seemed too good to be true. I tried to Facebook stalk him, which turned up nothing. First thought, “he must be married with kids!”

I decided to “drop by” my mom’s class on the first day and introduce myself. It was such a blur that I don’t remember seeing that stud from Colorado, but I did go talk to my friend Amanda F. about her up-coming wedding, told the class I was single and walked out.

I continued dating other guys.

A few weeks later I got an assignment from one of my classes to interview pre-med, bio students. Knowing that my mom pretty much only taught those kids I went to her class with a sign-up sheet. I explained the situation and asked for everyone to sign it. Done. Then I contacted the said individuals on the sign-up sheet. Enter the stud from Colorado.

I was getting tired and pushed for time so I emailed that stud to ask if he just wanted to do the interview online. He said that he preferred to do it in person, at 7:30 am!!! Ugh, that’s early. Everything inside of me wanted to ditch that interview but there was a little voice that told me to go and do it.

We met at Jamba Juice and I offered to buy him a Jamba in exchange for his time. I remembered thinking he was pretty dang cute. He also refused my Jamba offer saying, “I have a bagel.” Which he never did eat. I interviewed him and a few things stood out to me. “I won’t perform a legit surgery on my own until I’m 36.” “Saying I’m going to be a doctor is nice with the ladies.” We finished the interview and he was a gem and offered to walk me outside. He stood up and we talked and walked outside. We were in front of the Crab Tree where I worked at the time and I said thank you again and he told me he had to go finish a paper for my mom’s class. We went our separate ways and I kept thinking, “he is a stud.”

Sent him a follow-up text. He texted me back.
We texted back and forth for about a month and a half before our first date.

He texted me while I was sitting in sacrament meeting. “This is last minute but I was thinking of driving the alpine loop today, want to go?” I thought he would never ask! I was soooo ecstatic that it must have been the longest 3 hours of my entire life. I came home and got ready and literally waited, heart pounding for 45 minutes.

When he came and picked me up my first thoughts were: 1) OhMyGosh he is SUPER handsome. 2) What a cool car! 3) I can’t believe this is happening, finally.

The Alpine Loop was great, but being with him was better. He was funny, classy, open and intelligent. I wanted the loop to last all day. When he asked me out for a second date while dropping me off I couldn’t hold back how happy I was and I’m sure I had a ridiculous smile on my face.

Yes, yes, yes!

Date 2, 3, 4, 5 …

Text to my mom, “he is the BEST unofficial boyfriend EVER!”

One night in particular he asked if he could call me his “girlfriend” I have never been so happy in my entire life. We sat there in silence, cuddling. It felt so good and so right. I felt like I belonged with him and that we fit together so perfectly. Beside the fact that he was so incredibly handsome, I wanted to be with him all the time. He was all I could think about, all I could talk about, and all I wanted.

10 months later I became his wifey, forever.
And I couldn’t be happier.

2012 Recap

2012 was a goooooooood year!

Here are just a few reasons why.

Hailey graduated.

Harry hit his one year mark!



Many fun vacations with family and friends.





Chad ate sushi for the first time.



The ages for missionaries changed to 18 (elders) and 19 (sisters).



Kailee had her first baby.

We got engaged.



Then married.



Then honeymooned.



Chad got accepted to med school.



Now we're starting 2013, together.

I can't wait to see what 2013 has for us!!!

This is our life

Chad eats Rasin Bran or Mini Wheat cereal.
Hailey eats Waffle Crisps and Captain Crunch.

Chad likes to get to bed at a decent hour, 9 ish.
Hailey could stay up until 3 or 4am doing anything.

Chad knows that the anatomical term for the eardrum is the Tympanic membrane.
Hailey knows hipster terms like: "they sound so much better on vinyl," and "what's your instagram handle?"

This why they go together so well.

Us against the world

Today Chad and I were having a conversation via text about some girl at work who was going to get fired. I usually wouldn't take a particular interest except for the fact that it messes with my Chad time. Her getting fired means that Chad will have to go back to working Thursdays, Friday mornings and Saturdays. Chad already works Saturday and Sunday nights. So when the heck do I his WIFE get to spend time with him?!?! #needymuch?

*sigh* I guess I this is good med school training right? Oh but wait we're NOT in med school and I want to spend as much time with him as possible before he does legitly go to med school and I see him even less than I do now. #isthatevenpossible?

I digress.

As we were sitting there talking I noticed something. Since being married things are no longer, "Me versus everyone else." It's become "Us versus everyone else."
It's true.

When he tells me about his co-workers who are less than intelligent I instantly hop to his side and team up in the "oh my gosh I can't believe they really did, how dumb is that?" When I tell him about a fellow classmate who keeps dropping the ball he automatically says, "wow you're right she can't get it together!"

And truth be told I like it.

I like knowing he's got my back like I've got his.
There's no wondering "will he take my side?" Because I already know he has my side.

I'm sure there will be times where I'm completely out of line, but he'll still back me up, then later when I've calmed down tell me what he really thinks. But I know he'll still take an attitude of "Us versus the world."

And quite frankly with Chad by my side we could take on the world.

First Date

This weekend was really great with my Chadicous. No we didn't do anything crazy amazing. But there were some moments we had together that were priceless to me.

Friday was a stressful day for me. That husband of mine gave me a back massage and let me drift off to sleep early.

Saturday was a nightmare. That husband of mine picked me up from the ground where I sat crying and carried me over to the bed. Where he cuddled and kissed me. And asked about my feelings and really cared. That same night I was washing dishes when I heard music coming from our living room ... piano music. It was Chad playing the piano. I can't think of any better thing than listening to him play the piano. It was soothing. He let me pick out some songs for him to play. One of which was "Come What May" yes, from Moulin Rouge. Hearing him play it on the piano was even better than the movie. I had so much emotion tied to him playing that song. I felt, overwhelmed. It was a really intimate moment for me, one that he created without knowing. I felt connected to my husband and I wished he would just play that song all night with me sitting there staring at his hands gracefully moving over the keys.

Then he was my hero and played "The Cave" by Mumford and Sons. My heart literally soared the entire time he was playing it. He doesn't like Mumford, but he has no idea that him playing made my entire day. He then kissed me on the forehead. That wonderful hour of him playing is one of my fondest moments to date.

Sunday I made waffles for breakfast and we went to church. Afterward we drove the Alpine Loop. One year ago we drove the same Alpine Loop for our first date. How charming life is to be with him in the same car one year later with a ring on my finger. On our first date I didn't even think about if we would get married. All I knew was I wanted to be with him. And now I am. One year later from our first date, I'm his wife.

How lucky am I?



P.S. To see how Chad's interview went check out his med school update page.

 

Open House

Last weekend Chad and I made the drive to CO with Seth, Tara and Beth for our open house.

Even though I was plagued with a horrible illness our open house was ridiculously good looking!

Geralynn really out did herself.

She made a three-tier cake, decorated the patio, had shimmery pumpkins with ribbons, an amazing candy bar, gourmet drinks. It was all seriously stunning.

I cannot believe how absolutely perfect my wedding has been. It was all better than I could ever dreamed.

(click the images to see them BIGGER)

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Whilest in my sickness Geralynn took care of me. She had Beth concoct some vodoo drink that was supposed to cure me. Well, I think it might have helped me feel a bit better. It was a potent drink.

Here's the recipe:

4 drops of Thieves essential oils (contains: cloves, lemon, cinnamon, eucalyptus and rosemary)
Juice from 1 whole lemon
Water to fill the cup
Honey to taste

Mix it all up then drink!

Along with that magic potion inside the Spencer's home is a SAUNA. A real, live, legit sauna!!! It was very cool and Geralynn had me sit in there for 15 minutes to sweat out my plague. It was nice, relaxing and well, HOT.

Whilest driving home from Colorado we were passing into a tunnel. We all know that you're supposed to hold your breath and make a wish. So all 5 of us Spencers did just that. When we came out of the tunnel there was the usual "whatdidjawishfor?!" When Seth sighed. He said something to the effect of, "Well that was dumb." Us, "what?" Him, "I just wished for something that already happened!" Us, "What?" Him, "That I'd have a great sister-in-law." OhMyGosh cue me choking back tears and the awwww's. It was incredibly sweet and made me feel even more grateful to have married into such a wonderful family.

How blessed am I?

Honeymoon

In a word it.was.perfect.

Chad and I had such a wonderful time and I won't bore you with too many details but we:

• Swam with dolphins


• Played with stingrays


• Went scuba diving in Mexico where we saw eels, turtles, stingrays, lion fish and other sea critters


• Drank virgin drinks


• Ate our weight in food on a daily basis


• Played on the beach


• Went shopping


• Threw paper airplanes off the top floor of the cruise ship


• Sang along with the piano man at the piano bar


• Made up identities for the people who never came to dinner at our table


• Watched Dexter

It was absolutely wonderful and I'm sad to be back.

One thing was a significant highlight of our honeymoon.
While at dinner one night I noticed an older couple celebrating 30 years of marriage.
I turned to Chad and said, "Doesn't it scare you to get old?"
He looked me in the eyes and said, "No. The next life is going to be so much better than this one. I get to spend forever with you. I can't think of anything that would be better, can you?"

It was all I could do to choke back tears.
That was the sweetest thing he's ever said to me, and I hold that little fragment of a moment closely.

Our honeymoon was wonderful, and I'm excited to be starting the rest of my life as Mrs. Hailey Spencer.

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Why my fiancé is THE BEST

Tuesday night August 28th, 2012 I had a mental breakdown.

I was an overly emotional crying wreck.

I kept thinking about ALL the wedding planning we had to finish, my internship, my big girl job, my capstone class and honestly how can I do so much again this semester? All I want is a break.

Handsome fiancé could surely tell when I texted him,

"Have an issue!!!!!!!!!!!!! Major major STAT ASAP CALL ME!!!!!!!!"

Well this major issue turned out to be nothing bad at all, and fiancé was so calm and patient and said, "OK leave it to me and I'll figure out a solution."

mmmkayenternextmadeuplibraproblem

We go to pick up his suit for the wedding, and he looked simply smashing in it. Oh dear he looked stunning. I was still being a brat and upset so I hardly said anything, even worse I didn't let my handsome fiancé know that I thought he looked incredible and I still canNOT believe I get to marry him.

When we left the store he asked if I wanted to go back to our house for a bit. I told him no because I was tired and had homework. Which was stupid because all I wanted to do was cuddle up with him. Instead of making a big deal he said, "OK" gave me a kiss and an I love you.

mmmkayseriouslyheisamazing

Enter the next day.

He not only took the initiative to start getting things done on our checklist, he's doing it so gracefully.

He has already figured out:

• Our cake - who picks it up


• Pictures for our reception


• Pricing of everything


• Gifts for our parents


• Sky lanterns


• Updated invitations for extra people

All of this the next day.

I could seriously cry because I am so happy he is doing so much. How did I get so-gosh-darn-lucky?

3 weeks and I'll be Mrs. Spencer.

Almost a Mrs.

Hello everyone!

I've decided to create a "couples blog" for Chad and I.

We're 22 days out and still have so much to do!!!

• Get candy in green and blue (WinCo? Website?)


• Get candy bags


• Pick up candy jars (Mrs. Slade)


• Pick up mirrors and tops from Tori


• Create a card box


• Go over floor plan with adjustments


• Get RSVP's for luncheon


• Final head count for reception


• Get Chad's suit tailored to a T.


• Create bridesmaids bags


• Talk to people about their toasts. How long? 2 mins TOPS?


• Reception pix, 2 per table? How many enlarged? Where do we want to place the enlarged easel pix?


• Order wedding cake from The Sweet Tooth Fairy- MONDAY SEPT 17, assign someone to pick it up after the luncheon.


• Guest book - DO IT


• What do the bistro tables look like?

Soooooooooo much to dooooooooo.

With that Chad & I are taking a much needed vaca to Arizona this weekend and we're putting the wedding world on hold.

Arizona Vaca Rule #1- NO wedding talk

 

We can resume everything when we get back.