One Year Anniversary pt I

Yes I have to split up posts about our one year anniversary because it was just that wonderful. 

We all know that tradition where you eat the same cake you had on the day of your wedding. Well, I personally think that is kind of gross ... so instead I made a three layer Magelby's Chocolate Cake.

Chad got me Waffle Crisps (inside story) annnnnd Sour Mambas!!!

 I got him an awesome lunchbox, and human heart print.

pt. II coming soon ...

Just love

Chad & my one year anniversary is less than one week away. I can't believe it's been one year and at the same time I feel like we've been together forever.

Chad & I were laying in bed talking and he said, "I never thought I would feel so close to someone. We've only been married a year but I feel like I've known you for so much longer. I feel so close to you, you're my best friend." 

My heart melted.

Chad is great at being affectionate and expressing his love towards me. I on the other hand, have a harder time expressing my feelings. But in the almost 365 days of being married I have learned something that makes the biggest difference for me ... 

Just love.

In the middle stages of being married I found myself letting the differences of Chad and I get in the way of my loving him. I would look at our music, cold cereal, bed time differences and think, "we're just too different ..." then those thoughts would turn into feelings. Those feelings then got in the way of my love for him. 

After one particularly stressful week I came to a hard realization. All week I was pushing Chad away from me. Fighting against his love and not accepting the love he was trying to give to me. The entire week he just wanted to love me. Why was I letting our differences get in the way of my infinite love for Chad?

That night I made a goal for myself. No matter what happened I wouldn't let anything get in the way of my love for Chad, I was going to just love him. That has made a huge impact. Rather than pushing him away I bring him in closer. Rather than allowing our differences to be a problem, they now compliment each other. Rather than not actively waking up everyday and choosing to love Chad, I now actively love him.

Love is a choice, and from that choice comes the feeling. In my short amount of time of being married I have learned to just love Chad, and be active in my love towards him.

Thank you Chad for being the best example of choosing love every single day.

Opening up in marriage

Sometimes being married is hard. Not hard because marriage is a terribly difficult thing, but hard because you have to invest every ounce of yourself in it. Sometimes you have to open up and say things you really don't want to say to your spouse. Out of fear that you might hurt their feelings, fear that you'll expose a side of yourself they've never seen before, fear that by opening up you become really vulnerable to them. I hope that no one is in a marital situation where they would feel judged, because marriage is about two completely imperfect people coming together to make one thing amazing.

Sometimes it's easier to just sit back and think, "well, I can handle all my problems on my own and I don't need anyone's stinking help!" That's me, right there. I think I can just take on battling evil, keeping the house clean, work 40 hours a week, hit the gym, deal with family & friends, moving, cooking and trying to look nice for my spouse; all on my own. But I can't, and even though sometimes I try really, really hard to work out my issues on my own, I know it's always better when I tell my hubby what's going on. Because he can - no - he wants to help me get through my issues.

Today at church I was playing a game on my phone *gasps* and my hubby was trying to help me win it. Even then I thought, "I can win this stupid game on my own ..." I didn't.

I think, for me at least, it's really hard to see how much I need my spouse's help with everything. Sometimes it's hard, and sometimes I have to completely humble myself to dirt before I can work up the courage to say to him, "I need help ..." but when I do he's always there with a hug and non-judmental heart.

It's just another flaw I'm working on, but with time I'll get it right. Good thing I've got this handsome guy to help me with it. (Yeah look at those biceps!)



Any ideas, stories or suggestions on opening up to your SO?